I get thrashed by my wife's superior wit on a regular basis. I just leave myself open way too often. I thought I had left that vulnerability behind me when most of my friends stopped talking to me. But Lorie seems to have picked up where they left off.

The other day, I tried on a new shirt that Lorie had picked out for me.

"That shirt looks good on you." Lorie remarked absent-mindedly while de-tagging other new clothes.

The schoolboy-excitement of getting a compliment pumped my cheeks into a big old goofy grin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Lorie stopped and looked at me in thought. "It kinda makes your chest look nice."

"Wow." I began my time-tested seduction method of eyebrow wiggling and strutted about the room. Working my elbows like one of those frat-boys you see in college who walk like they're strung up marionette puppets. "You mean like Bruce Willis?"

"I wouldn't go that far." My wife gifts me with a fleeting smile and goes back to her new garments.

"Yeah, but maybe I should wear this shirt often."

"Okay, but you can't wear it to work."

"Why? Would you get jealous?" I try my best to toy with her. I don't immediately realize that she's been toying with me from the start.

"No, you'll spill something on it during lunch and ruin it."

She had me there.

"Still, there are a lot of attractive people at work. And wearing this shirt? well I might turn some heads. I think you could use a healthy dose of jealousy."

"You have been talking about that 'Steve' guy an awful lot." Lorie smiles.

I had no reply for that.

Having once again been defeated by my wife's superior wit, I retreated to my Comic Book Sanctuary, surrounded myself in a comforting atmosphere, and began to plot anew.

DCD

Copyright 2002 David Charles Dill Jr.